Marriage counselor and relationship coach, Pastor Kingsley Okonkwo, has sparked conversations on social media after advising women to be more receptive to men who express interest in them, arguing that women typically make relationship choices from among those who approach them rather than selecting anyone they desire.
Okonkwo shared his views in a post on his X (formerly Twitter) account, where he encouraged women to stop ignoring messages, phone calls and other attempts by potential suitors to initiate conversations.
According to the pastor, while men are generally expected to make the first move in many societies, women ultimately make their choice from among those who have indicated interest in them.
“As a lady you don’t choose who you want, you choose from who wants you,” he wrote.
Expanding on the statement, Okonkwo urged women not to dismiss communication from prospective admirers without first giving them an opportunity to express themselves.
“So start answering those DMs, reply the chats and pick those calls,” he added.
The post quickly generated widespread reactions online, with social media users offering differing opinions on the relationship advice.
Some users agreed with the marriage counselor, arguing that meaningful relationships often begin with simple conversations and that many women may unknowingly miss genuine opportunities by ignoring messages or refusing to engage with people expressing sincere interest.
Others interpreted the advice as an encouragement for women to remain open-minded rather than making quick judgments based solely on first impressions.
However, not everyone shared the pastor’s perspective.
Some critics argued that modern relationships are built on mutual interest and personal choice, maintaining that both men and women should have equal freedom to pursue relationships with individuals they genuinely desire.
Others stressed that while responding to messages may create opportunities for meaningful connections, women should never feel obligated to entertain unwanted advances or compromise their personal standards.
Several commentators also pointed out that choosing a life partner involves more than simply responding to messages, emphasizing that compatibility, shared values, mutual respect, trust and emotional maturity remain essential ingredients for a healthy and lasting relationship.
Pastor Kingsley Okonkwo is widely known for his teachings on marriage, dating and family life. Through his books, seminars, social media platforms and public speaking engagements, he frequently offers advice on relationships, attracting significant attention from both supporters and critics.
His comments often generate lively discussions because they touch on issues affecting modern dating, courtship and marriage, particularly among young people navigating relationships in an increasingly digital age.
The latest remarks have once again ignited debate over gender roles in dating and whether traditional expectations about who should initiate romantic relationships remain relevant in contemporary society.
While opinions remain divided, Okonkwo’s message has added to the ongoing conversation about communication, openness and intentionality in building healthy relationships.
